Mnemonics
by mad half hour
Summary: Alec is starting his anatomy unit on the head and neck. Magnus decides to teach him some...interesting learning techniques. Apparently, everything is easier to remember when made dirty. Malec fluff, pseudo-continuation to "Naughty Bits" but can be read as a standalone


_A/N—This is set in the same 'verse as my fic "Naughty Bits". Think of it as an apology for those waiting on the next chapter. I'm back to working on it, promise :)_

* * *

**Mnemonics **

"Some Americans like fucking on plush, soft mattresses."

Alec's eyebrows shoot up behind the untidy sprawl of his black bangs. Eyes wide, he turns to face his boyfriend, who has apparently decided to invade his room without knocking. "Excuse me?"

"You started the head and neck unit today, right?" Magnus asks, gesturing to the notes and comprehensive anatomy guide spread out in front of him. The book is open to a large, colorful diagram of the muscles of the neck (all of them obnoxiously strap-like and obnoxiously close in name) that Alec knows from experience has little to no resemblance to what he'll be seeing in lab tomorrow.

"Yes," Alec answers slowly, still looking at Magnus like he's not quite sure what to think of him. "I don't see what that has to do with you sharing such…colorful factoids with me, but yes, I am. It sucks."

"The head and neck really aren't so bad once you stop worrying about so many structures being in something the size of a bowling ball," Magnus says breezily. Alec waits for him to laugh, but no sign that he was just joking is forthcoming. "You just need to learn some studying tricks. When I first took Gross Anatomy, mnemonics really helped me with the bigger picture."

"What kind of mnemonics?" Alec gathers his class notes and other papers together and pushes them aside, gesturing for Magnus to join him on his bed. He still feels like he's been wrapped in something warm and fuzzy when Magnus does, pressing against him hip-to-hip even though Alec left him plenty of room. Alec wonders if he'll ever stop feeling this way. They've been together for a few months now, but sometimes he still feels like that guy with a crush he was too afraid to voice, swooning at a few seconds of prolonged eye contact. Before, it made him feel sick to his stomach. Now, he mostly finds the experience wonderful, and hopes it never fades.

"Mnemonics like 'Some Americans like fucking on plush, soft mattresses'," Magnus says, laughing at whatever face Alec must have made in response. He kisses Alec's cheek with a playfully loud smack. "You're so cute when you're scandalized."

"How is that even relevant to the neck?" Alec asks. "What is it supposed to help you remember?"

"It's supposed to help you recall the order of the branches of the external carotid artery," Magnus explains. "The first letter of every word in the sentence stands for one of the branches—"

Alec looks at Magnus through narrowed eyes. "I know how mnemonics work, Magnus," he says flatly.

"So you see what I mean then," Magnus says with a grin. "'Some Americans like fucking on plush, soft mattresses'. SALFOPSM. Superior thyroid, ascending pharyngeal, lingual, facial, occipital…" Magnus trails off and looks at Alec expectantly.

Rolling his eyes, Alec rattles off the rest of the list, "posterior auricular, superficial temporal, and maxillary."

"See? That's eight structures right off the bat—eleven, if you include the carotids themselves. The mnemonic keeps it nice and straight, and soon enough you'll be listing them off like that." Magnus snaps his fingers, presumably to demonstrate just how quick "that" really is.

"Yeah, but I knew those before I even had a mnemonic," Alec points out.

"Not everyone can be blessed with a mind for such straightforward memorizing," Magnus counters, flicking one of the highlighters Alec had been using to pick out the most relevant passages from his textbook. "Some of us mortals need a little help."

"Please, you needing anatomy help?" Alec snorts. "You're disgustingly good at it, Magnus."

"You're sweet," Magnus says, preening visibly. "But I'm only so good at it because it's a passion. I want to be an anatomist, so being in the lab working on dead bodies to familiarize myself for abominably indecent hours every week is easy for me. I find it fun. For most of the people I tutor," he winks at Alec, who generously jostles his shoulder instead of pushing him off the bed like he would have if Magnus had been one of his siblings, "Anatomy is the class they have to survive to get to what they _really_ want to do, and they need a little assistance sometimes. Mnemonics are quite popular."

"I guess I get that," Alec says with a shrug. "But are they all so dirty?"

"They don't _have_ to be," Magnus says with the sort of tone that suggests an unspoken _but they all should_. "There are variations for the more of pure of heart and mind. A lot of people exchange "fucking" for "flopping" in the mnemonic I just told you. It's funnier when they're dirty though, which makes it easier to remember."

"You have an interesting definition of funny."

"And you love me for it," Magnus says. He has Alec there. "Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't heard any of your classmates using some of them."

"You know I don't like to use study groups."

Slowly, Magnus begins to let himself list to the side, gradually propping himself up against Alec's shoulder. Alec takes on the additional weight happily enough, combing his hands though Magnus's hair. Whether through circumstance or personal decision, it is free of product, a rare and pleasant treat.

"I taught Simon a mnemonic for the bones of the hand, though," Magnus says, absentmindedly tapping out a beat on Alec's thigh. "He seems the sort to blurt that out to as many people as he possibly can."

"Well, you're right about that," Alec says, still playing with the strands of his boyfriend's hair. They feel vaguely damp, which means Magnus was in the lab today and rushed off to visit Alec after a quick shower at school. It's nice to know he's taken Alec's complaints about the scent of latex gloves and formaldehyde clinging to him to heart. Right now, all Alec can make out –thankfully- is a faint trace of sandalwood. "He likes to think he's hilarious."

"Do you wanna know what it is?" Magnus asks, lips pressed against the steady throb of Alec's external jugular. "It's my favorite."

"Mmm, why not?" Alec says. Admittedly, he's curious what sort of phrase Magnus would like enough to deem his 'favorite'. Magnus usually isn't the type to limit himself to a 'favorite' anything when he can just indulge in anything he likes the most at any given moment.

"'Some lovers try positions that they can't handle'."

For a moment, Alec lets that sink in. Then, "You're kidding,"

"Nope," Magnus chirps, smiling into the junction between Alec's neck and shoulder. "I'm as serious as a necrotized scaphoid break."

"You're a dork is what you are," Alec says, looking fondly down at Magnus's head.

"Excuse you, I'm an intellectual," Magnus says, blindly reaching up to place his hand on Alec's face, fingers spread out from his temple to his chin. "Now stay still and let me share some of my wisdom with you."

Not one to waste an opportunity, Alec turns his head to kiss Magnus's palm. "As much as I'd love to learn via osmosis, I don't think humans have evolved to that point yet."

"Stop," Magnus whines, pushing at Alec's face with his fingers. "Move your head back. This won't work if your head isn't positioned right."

Alec eyes Magnus oddly at that. "What are you planning to do to me?"

"Something dirty," Magnus chirps, eyes sparkling with enough mirth that Alec knows he doesn't actually mean it. If he wanted to do something dirty, he would already be doing it. "Now turn the face."

With a long-suffering sigh, Alec complies. "Yeah, yeah, okay."

"You are lovely," Magnus tells him, kissing Alec's chest in thanks. "Now, I think this is pretty cool. When you lie your hand on your face like _this_," Magnus returns his hand to its previous position along Alec's cheek, his palm warm and smooth and still smelling just a bit like latex (which smells absolutely terrible, but to love is to suffer, so Alec mentally sighs and buckles down to deal), "your fingers are in the spots where the five branches of the facial nerve would be."

"Really?" It's a pretty nice way to know where they lie, Alec supposes, though he's honestly more interested in listening to the way Magnus marvels so enthusiastically about the study tool than the study tool itself.

"Mhm. Just look." Magnus lifts his fingers up one by one, saying the name of the branch it corresponds to and tracing his finger along the areas of muscle it innervates. He talks softly, about muscle actions and blood supply and bony attachments, patiently teaching Alec everything he had been about to start reviewing for tomorrow's lecture. It's nice.

"You wanna know the mnemonic?" Magnus asks him quietly, a few minutes later.

"Sure."

Rapping his fingers along Alec's face one by one, Magnus says, "Two zebras bit my cock."


End file.
